What is Anger?
On a fundamental level, anger is an adaptive (healthy) emotion whose primary functions are to defend ourselves when attacked and protect us from getting hurt. It is a powerful emotion that motivates us into action.
It is also the key emotion behind boundary setting in our relationships. Ignoring or avoiding anger hinders us from doing what is necessary to prevent someone (or something) from hurting us in the same fashion repeatedly.
In other words, some anger is healthy.
Where anger can get problematic in our relationships is in certain scenarios, namely:
- When we get caught in a bottle-and-blow pattern and anger that has been suppressed (whether knowingly or not) accumulates and results in a big expression that ends up hurting others around us
- When anger is acted upon without appropriate acknowledgment of the pain experienced – without that connection, the explosive expression of anger only serves to push people away
- When anger based on old, unresolved issues from the past is triggered and interferes with our present experience – this can result in holding the wrong people responsible for the pain we have experienced
- When anger is used to control others and ends up preventing people from getting truly close to us – this does the job in pain prevention, but it also prevents people from getting close enough to us for us to experience true joy in our intimate relationships
Benefits of Psychotherapy
Through the process of therapy, you can take time to either get in touch with anger that you may have been ignoring or avoiding for your long-term emotional health or you can explore the origins of your anger and take appropriate actions with what is brought into your awareness. This is the essence of change – as your awareness increases, so too do the options you have at your disposal.
Key benefits that you can gain in the process of psychotherapy can include the following:
- Increased awareness of unhealthy patterns involving anger, and giving you opportunity to make shifts towards healthier patterns in your life
- If old, unresolved issues are identified, you can work to separating the past from the present, take time to heal from past wounds, and take appropriate steps to prevent yourself from getting hurt again
- Improved relationships with people you care about as your expressions of anger become more controlled, and important aspects of yourself be revealed to those you trust.
If you wish to make contact with me to discuss further or you wish to book an appointment, please feel free to contact me via my contact page and we can get the ball rolling. I look forward to hearing from you soon.